she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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