Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
