Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
