I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
