ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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