i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
