Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
