Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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