No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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