when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
