Who did Billy Mays play for?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
