Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
