when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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