I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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