he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
