Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
