I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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