Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
