Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
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If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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