Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
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