so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
