Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
