I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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