some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
