Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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