I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
