well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I currently don't understand fingers.
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