turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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