As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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