Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
