no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
