just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
