franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
