Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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