Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
