The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
