so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
