I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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