Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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