Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Sorry about my life...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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