I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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