We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
