Swine flu. Run for my life!
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
