I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
