All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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