I want to have your abortion
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
