Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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