Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
