I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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