what day is it and did you see me today?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
third nipple confirmed
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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