Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
