It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
