she kept yelling 'call me bella'
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
