if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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