therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
