Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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