Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
