Rock
Scissors
Fuck
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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