im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
