so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
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